


To Light Upon

by astudyinfic



Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Character Death, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Lighthouse, Lighthouse keeper!Ty, M/M, Merman!Ty, Not Beta Read, Sailor!Zane, life after death, undetermined time period
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:15:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29619738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinfic/pseuds/astudyinfic
Summary: When Zane fell overboard, he thought he was done for.When he washed up on shore, sore but still breathing, he thought it was a miracle.When the man from the lighthouse took him in, he thought the man might be the grumpiest angel he ever met.One out of three isn't bad...
Relationships: Zane Garrett/Ty Grady
Comments: 13
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

He’d left in the middle of the night without saying a word. Zane felt bad leaving his father and sister behind but he couldn’t live under his mother’s expectations any longer. Her expectation that he would marry and produce some new Garretts while running the family ranch was so distasteful that Zane left without a plan or even a direction. All he knew was that he needed to get away.

By horse and train and cart, he made his way east until he found himself standing on the shore of the ocean, staring out at more water than Zane had ever known. the moment he saw it, he knew what he needed to do.

Walking down the dock and joining a crew was far easier than he expected. No one question why he was there, what he thought he was doing. If they cared that he didn’t have any experience, they didn’t show it.

The manual labor wasn’t difficult. Growing up on a ranch had made it perfectly normal to him. Just because he was the son of the owners didn’t mean he didn’t work hard. But as the ship left port and headed out to sea, Zane realized that working on a ranch might have prepared him for the work but it did not prepare him for the waves. Feeling sick was no excuse and Zane worked through his misery, vomiting over the side of the ship and then continuing on.

The crew mocked him at first, the land lover who didn’t have sea legs. They made him work longer hours, often overnight, under the guise of ‘helping him get used to it’. A few times, Zane considered running home from the next port they stopped at, but the image of his mother’s face, the tone of her telling him that if he had just listened to her... That was enough to keep Zane right where he was. Seasickness was better than Beverly Carter-Garrett. Though, on the long nights when he started to regret his decision, he thought about the look on his mother’s face if she could see him now. That warmed him in a small and vindictive sort of way, and Zane went right back to his job with a smile on his face.

Eventually, he enjoyed the overnight work. The stars reminded him of how they looked at the ranch and he came to appreciate the sounds of the sea lapping at the sides of the boat. On full moons, you could see for miles, endless horizons of ocean in front and stars above. It was as close to heaven as a man like Zane would ever get.

The first morning it happened, Zane had been drinking. It was a rare night where he wasn’t drinking while on the ship but he’d been drinking more heavily than normal, though now he had no idea what had driven him to it. But he leaned heavy and sluggish on the rail, staring out over the water when he saw him, the sun rising behind his head.

A man’s head and shoulders just barely above the water. He stared right back at Zane and it took a moment for his alcohol-soaked mind to register what he was seeing.

“Man overboard!” he yelled and the boat came to life, men scurrying from every direction to try and help the poor fool who’d fallen over. By the time they assembled everything they needed, the man was nowhere to be seen. A moment of silence was held for the fallen comrade and they decided that at the morning roll call, they would find who was missing.

But as they called the names, everyone was accounted for. They counted again and still, everyone was there. They’d seen so no ships recently, definitely not that night. Zane knew what he saw and continued to argue his point.

“Maybe it’was a mermaid,” one of the men joked and laughter rippled through the crew.

Zane shook his head, defiant. “It was a man, not a maid.”

“Well, they say the merfolk take on the form the watcher would find most attractive. Truth, Z?”

Instead of an answer, Zane punched the man in the jaw and earned himself a place in the brig for the night and the loss of pay for a week.

He didn’t know why he did it. Plenty of men on this ship shared his inclination. Zane had passed the time with a few of them in quiet corners below deck. But something about the sailor’s tone irked Zane and the only way he could make that feeling go away was with his fists.

Maybe it was because the man in the water had seemed very handsome, the exact sort of person Zane would want to spend some private time with, though he didn't get a good look at him with the sun in his eyes and the man several yards from the ship.

Maybe there was something to what the sailor said, as it was common knowledge that the merfolk lured people into the water to die. They offered themselves as bait and then killed the poor fools who fell for it.

If he was a merman, then he would have killed Zane and Zane knew he should be thankful to be alive. But for a few moments with that man...? Maybe death wouldn’t be so bad.

But no, Zane knew it had to be a hallucination, brought on by too many days at sea and too many nights spent drinking. They told him it happened to the best of them. A man longing for someone they missed, or for the idea of something that they had never had.

Zane told them about the woman back home his mother wanted him to marry, from a good family who was bound to give him strong, healthy sons. His mother never did ask him what he thought about the plan. Finding his bed empty and a horse gone hopefully answered that question for her.

He told his crewmates that all he knew was that he didn’t want that life, so if he was seeing someone in the water, he was probably imagining himself drowning if he ever went back to it. They laughed and Zane did too, thinking he found an answer to what he saw.

But it happened again. Five more times to be exact. Not long after sunrise, always when Zane was alone. Zane stopped calling out after that first one, recognizing the same face again and again. He couldn’t tell details, didn’t know if he would be able to pick the man out if he stood right in front of him, but there was a longing that pulled Zane towards him and Zane thought for sure he would know the man from that alone if they were to come face to face.

The longer he was on the ship, the more lax he became. The alcohol flowed freely through the crew, each of them sharing what they could and hoarding what they had to. Zane took more than his share and drank it all, night after night. He knew he had a problem and if he ever went back to his old life, he didn’t know if he would be able to hide it but began to think it wouldn’t matter. Zane never intended to return to the ranch, to the family that didn’t understand him.

His life was here on the sea now. It was his home and there was nowhere Zane would rather be.

That was what he was thinking as he stumbled across the deck, making his way to the stairs that would lead to his bunk when he tripped and toppled over. If anyone noticed, they didn’t say anything as the ship stayed calm and quiet, the early morning lull of a boat that was normally so active.

Zane struggled and flailed, tried to call out for help but no one could hear him over the waves and the wind and the distance. The ship left without him and as he began to sink under the water, Zane thought this was a fitting end for someone like him.

He woke as the sun started to set, battered and bruised, hungover both from the alcohol and the amount of seawater he had swallowed as he drowned. Drowned? Zane struggled to sit up, looking down at himself. His salt-covered clothes were still damp and there was a path through the sand where he’d been dragged to shore, so he suspected he hadn’t died. Hopefully, the afterlife would feel a little more pleasant than this.

Zane tried to stand but his leg buckled underneath him. Not too far away, a lighthouse stood tall and proud. If he could get there, he thought he might find help. He didn’t know where he was or how he got there. The ship had been far from shore. Zane was certain about that. So how he managed to get to land while unconscious without dying was a miracle he wasn’t going to overlook.

When the sun dipped below the horizon, Zane knew he was in trouble. His limbs wouldn’t work the way he wanted them to, whether from exhaustion or injury, he still didn’t know and he had made no progress towards the lighthouse, his only hope of salvation. His body was covered in salt and sweat and the chill was setting in. Zane thought seriously about laying down in the surf and letting the ocean take him. He should have died out there anyway. It was simply a way of finishing what the ocean started.

But he couldn’t bring himself to do it, no matter how impossible the moment felt right now. The lighthouse. He just needed to get to the lighthouse.

Zane tried to crawl but couldn't even manage that, his body too tired to keep going. The tide was going out so he wondered if he might lay there for a few hours and rest before trying to move once more. The idea appealed to him and his eyes started to close before a man called out to him. “If you are planning on dying, don’t do it on my beach!”

Zane looked up, seeing broad shoulders, hair mussed by the sea breeze, and a concerned scowl on a handsome face. He briefly thought about the vision he had out at sea but dismissed it at once. This man was far more attractive. And he was real.

Zane was _fairly_ sure he was real.

“I was just going to sleep for a little while,” Zane argued, though it sounded weak, even to his own ears. “Too tired.”

The man shook his head. “You can’t die here. Come on.” With a strength Zane knew he once had, the man hefted him up and helped him cross the last distance to the lighthouse. Zane had never thought he would be as happy to see a building as he was at that moment.

Stepping inside, Zane noticed the warmth first of all. He’d been on the ship for so long, and then in the water, and then on the beach with no shelter, that being inside a warm, solid building was a novelty. Had he ever thought that this minimal amount of comfort was a novelty before?

The man helped him into a chair and then disappeared up the stairs without a word. Zane was tempted to follow him but the chair was comfortable and Zane knew there was no way he would make it to the top before his legs gave out. He probably wouldn't even make it out of the chair. He was fine here. At least here he could sleep in relative comfort without the fear of drowning before he woke up.

He was pulled from his doze by the sound of the man sitting down next to him. “I brought food and tea. Don’t really have much else. Wasn’t expecting other people.” Something about the man’s cadence was off, though Zane couldn’t put his finger on it, definitely not in the state he was currently in. “Eat and drink, then I will show you to your bed. You need sleep. It looks as if you have been through a lot.”

That was putting it mildly but Zane nodded. “Thank you...” he trailed off, hoping the man would fill in with his name.

“Ty. My name is Ty.”

“Thank you, Ty, for your hospitality. I’m Zane. I promise I will be out of here as soon as I can.”

Ty stood and shook his head, placing a hand on Zane’s shoulder. “Feel free to stay as long as you like. It has been a long time since I have had company.” He turned and left again, back up the stairs. Zane assumed he was tending to the light while Zane ate and refreshed.

Trying to stand, Zane gasped as pain shot through his leg and hip, causing him to topple backwards into the chair. He tried again but soon realized he wasn’t going anywhere. The leg was badly injured and he doubted it would carry much weight for a while. If ever.

If the leg was injured beyond repair, then Zane’s sailing days were over. No crew would hire a man who couldn’t stand properly. Melancholy threatened to overtake him but Zane pushed it away. He didn’t know how bad his leg was and wouldn’t find out until it healed and he could see what he was dealing with.

But the fact that it was injured meant that he was stuck there for the time being. Both in the chair and in the lighthouse. He couldn’t move without Ty’s help and as Ty was upstairs tending to the lamp, Zane figured he would be sleeping in the chair that night.

It was alright. He’d slept in less comfortable places. At least the chair was plush and the room was warm. With a full belly and a comfortable place to sit, the exhaustion over his ordeal pulled him quickly to slumber.

Zane woke early the next morning to sun streaming in his eyes, making it hard to stay asleep, no matter how much he wanted to. He expected stiffness from sleeping in the chair (and from falling overboard and almost dying) but when he stretched, he found very few twinges in his muscles. His leg still ached but the rest of him just felt a little bruised. Pushing himself to sit up, Zane was surprised to find that he had been lying down at all.

That certainly wasn’t how he had fallen asleep that night.

Instead, he was in a large bed, with a window that looked out over the water. There were no curtains on the window, which was why the sun was waking him at what had to be an ungodly hour. Probably a time Zane would normally be going to bed, not getting up.

Zane was not a small man. Even on a ship full of men who worked hard for a living, he was one of the bigger ones. So the realization that Ty had to have carried him to bed the last night struck hard. Ty wasn’t small either but Zane hadn’t predicted he would have that kind of strength. He’d remember to thank him, next time he saw the man.

His leg was bandaged and felt better, though it still hurt he could put some weight on it. Zane hobbled out of the room, a thin sheen of sweat on his brow from the exertion. He held the wall several times to prop himself up while he caught his breath. Clearly, he still needed rest but he also needed food and that was the bigger priority.

Eventually, he made it to the kitchen where he found bread, jam, and butter waiting on the table, as well as some fruit in a bowl, all of which looked better than anything Zane ate while on the ship. A note sat next to everything.

_Help yourself to anything you like. I will be back before dark. Please rest. I don’t want to have to carry you again. -Ty_

Zane couldn’t remember the last time he had fresh fruit and helped himself to that, eating as much as he could stand. Then, he went to the door and went outside, though Ty had warned him to rest. But Zane hadn’t spent much time on land since joining the crew and the sea called him back, despite knowing he had no ship. He thought he could stand outside, listen to the waves and the seabirds, and smell the saltwater and settle that craving in his chest.

Standing out there, Zane thought it would have worked if he wasn’t so exhausted that he needed to lean against the side of the lighthouse.

If Ty returned and found him collapsed outside, he would never hear the end of it. Zane had only just met the man and yet he knew that.

In the end, the calling of the sea was strong enough to keep him out there far longer than he should have but eventually Zane made his way back inside and was sleeping lightly when he heard the door open and shut. Pushing himself up, he brushed the hair out of his face. “Ty?”

“Yes?” Ty looked in the room. His cheeks were flushed and his hair looked soft, windswept. Zane wondered what he had been doing but figured it wasn’t his place to ask. “You get up at all? You needed to eat.”

Zane nodded and moved to get off the bed. Ty was there in an instant, offering his hand to help Zane up. Zane almost shook his head, knowing he could do it himself, but in the end, he took Ty’s hand, feeling the cool, smooth skin under his own rough fingertips.

Ty helped him up and helped him to the kitchen where Ty left him when he ran upstairs to start the beacon. Once the light was lit, he returned and proceeded to make dinner. It was nothing fancy, just sandwiches and soup, but it was some of the best food Zane ever tasted. “Where did you go today?” Zane asked while Ty cooked.

He didn’t miss the way Ty’s eyes darted for the door a second before he answered. “I have things I have to do outside of the lighthouse. I have to be here all night so the day is my only chance to get them done.”

“Don’t you sleep?” If Ty was tending to the lighthouse all night and doing whatever it was he didn’t wish to tell Zane about during the day, that didn’t leave much time for sleeping.

Ty shrugged. “Sometimes. Probably not as much as I should.” The words held an air of finality and Zane knew he wouldn’t get any more answers from him tonight. Maybe before he left, Zane could convince Ty to take better care of himself. That would be the best way Zane could thank the man for helping him when he had no reason to.

Instead of continuing that line of questions, Zane asked something different. “Can I go up with you tonight?” He nodded towards the stairs as if Ty wouldn’t know exactly what he was asking. “I would like to see how it works.” Lighthouses had saved his ship several times while Zane was sailing and he was thankful for them but had never been inside before now. It would be interesting to find out how they worked.

And to spend more time with Ty.

Ty nodded and they finished their dinner in silence. While they ate, Zane studied the man across from him. He looked younger than Zane, maybe by a full ten years, but there was a world-weariness to him that suggested he was much older. It didn’t seem like the lighthouse was Ty’s whole life, if his day away was any indication. Probably not a job he inherited from family, but one he came to another way.

Zane wanted to know more about him but wondered if Ty would tell him anything. It seemed unlikely but he had nothing but time until his leg healed, so Zane would see what he could find out.

After dinner, Ty set the dishes in the sink, muttering that he would deal with them later, and then they slowly made their way up the long staircase. It frustrated Zane to have to stop several times to catch his breath and rest his leg, but Ty was patient, waiting for him without complaint.

Somehow, Zane made it to the top. He’d questioned his request the whole way up the stairs but the idea of going back down immediately was even worse. He planned to stay up there for a few hours before making his way back down.

At the top, there was no chair and Ty cursed under his breath. “Sorry, usually just me here. Will you be okay if I run back down really fast?” Zane nodded and Ty hurried out of the room.

Zane’s leg ached, his chest hurt, and he wished for nothing more than a stiff drink and a long nap. But he’d been napping most of the day and a stiff drink was what got him into this position in the first place, so he settled for leaning on the railing that went around the room and staring out at the sea.

It was beautiful from up here. He never went up the mast on the ship, not as spry as the younger guys who could go up and down as quick as a fox. So he never saw the sea from this height. It was dark out, but the stars still sparkled above and the waves pounded below and if he closed his eyes, Zane could almost pretend he was back on the ship.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Ty asked, setting down the chair and then helping Zane into it. He more collapsed than sat but Ty was kind enough not to say anything.

Zane nodded. “I’d never seen it before I joined the crew. I just needed to get away from home and being on a ship in the middle of the ocean seemed like the perfect choice. But I didn’t expect to love it. I’m sure my crew thinks I’m dead but once I’m healed, I’ll find another one. I’m experienced now. Someone is bound to hire me.”

Ty made a strange, noncommittal sound in the back of his throat and Zane raised a brow at him but Ty didn’t see it, having turned his back on Zane to look back out at sea. “I love the view from up here. I could stand here all night and just watch the water. Some nights, I do. My favorite nights are when the storms are rolling in. I need to watch for ships then more than any other time, but I enjoy the rain, the lightning, all of it.”

On the ship, Zane hated the storms. They meant long, hard hours in pounding rain and no guarantee of survival. He’d watch more than one man swept overboard by a wave and knew the damage they could cause to a vessel. But here, on the lighthouse, safe on the ground, Zane thought they might be lovely. Maybe even romantic.

“Were you a sailor?” The words were out of his mouth before he even finished forming the question.

Ty’s shoulders hunched slightly before he let out a slow breath and nodded, not turning around to meet Zane’s eyes. “I was, yes. A long time ago.” Which was strange because Zane was confident Ty was younger than him, even if he didn't act it.

“What happened? Didn’t like it?”

“I loved it. It was my life. I thought I would be on a ship for the rest of my life.” A humorless chuckle left him, something dark that didn’t fit the face Zane had come to know. “But sometimes fate works in other ways. So now I’m here.”

Zane’s mind raced, trying to figure out what had happened that would make Ty have to leave the job he loved. He didn’t walk like he had an injury but that didn’t mean something hadn’t happened. “You were injured?”

Ty nodded. “What happened to you, happened to me. The sea is a dangerous place and sometimes we get hurt. But I wish it hadn’t happened to you. I don’t know that I would wish this on anyone.”

Working in a lighthouse didn’t seem like a bad alternative to being a sailor but Zane didn’t say anything, hung up on the idea that Ty had already seemed to write off the idea of Zane getting onto another crew. “We had the same kind of accident. I’m going back on a ship. You’ll see.”

Ty didn’t answer, just shrugged and moved to the light, stoking the flame that would keep it burning through the dark hours.

At some point, Zane fell asleep in the chair. And when he woke up the next morning, Ty was gone again.


	2. Chapter 2

They fell into a routine, one Zane didn’t understand but it was comfortable enough for now. His leg healed far slower than he would have liked but it was getting there. He could now climb the stairs to the light tower without help and Ty had even promised to teach him how to work the light, saying maybe Zane could take over for him someday.

Zane didn’t want to - he wanted to go back out to sea - but after that last conversation the second night he’d stayed here, he didn’t bring it up. It was a sore subject for them both and Zane didn’t want to rock the boat with the man who had taken such excellent care of him when there was nothing in it for him.

Well, there could be something in it for him, but so far, Ty hadn’t shown any interest in Zane in that sort of way. He thought he occasionally saw Ty looking him over like he was interested but the only time they spent together was at night when Ty was tending to the light and Zane went up to keep him company. Despite searching the entire lighthouse during the day, Zane still hadn’t found where Ty slept. If Ty slept. He certainly hadn’t seen it.

His theory was that Ty had a family somewhere else, and he went home to them in the day. Zane always thought of lighthouse operators living there full time and the lighthouse did have a bedroom, so Zane had assumed. But Ty disappeared just after sunrise every morning and returned just before sunset every night. He never mentioned where he was going or what he was doing and after a while, Zane stopped asking.

Zane was anxious to get back out on a ship, but something kept him from leaving. His leg felt better, not perfect but good enough to get back out to sea. The only person he knew here was Ty. Zane didn’t even know if there were other people around, though Ty had to go somewhere all day, so Zane assumed. He didn’t even know where _here_ was. Ty never told him and there were no maps, no newspapers, nothing to tell Zane anything about his location.

All there was in the lighthouse was a light, a living area, and a surly man who was slowly capturing his heart.

Because Ty was surly. Every time Zane thought he was starting to make progress with the man, Ty would spit insults or cutting remarks that made Zane retreat most times. He would have fought him if he thought it worthwhile but Zane got nothing from fighting with a cranky man who had to give up his dream.

Zane had no intention of giving up his own and that probably rankled. Not Zane’s problem.

But when Ty wasn’t being prickly and standoffish, he was kind and funny. He cooked well enough but Zane took over making food for them and Ty showered him with compliments for each and every meal. The way Ty gushed, Zane would think he hadn’t eaten in years rather than hours.

Zane knew that if he stayed here very long, he would fall in love with the man. And that just wouldn’t do.

It was time for him to go. The sea still called to him and Zane didn't know how much longer he could resist. There had been times where he nearly went down to the shore and jumped in as if that alone would satisfy his need. It had never felt like this before, but he had to admit that since joining the crew, this was the longest amount of time he'd spent on land. He just missed it. That was all.

Ty found him outside one day, standing on the rocky shore, staring out at the sea. The waves almost hit his shoes and Zane knew he could take one more step and touch the water but something held him back. At first, it was something inside. A moment later, Ty tugged at his arm, yanking him back away from the water. "What do you think you are doing?" Ty demanded and Zane stared at him like he had lost his mind.

"I was looking at the water. All the time here, and I've never seen a ship pass by. I've never seen another town. I don't even know where you go when you disappear every day. I'm ready to move on, Ty. My leg feels better. It's time for me to find another crew and go back into the water." He paused, thinking about what he just said. "Back onto the water, that is."

Ty was shaking his head. "No, you aren't ready yet. I'll tell you when you are."

His hand still gripped Zane's arm and Zane ripped it away. "Who are you to tell me when I'm ready or not? It's my life, Ty. I don't even know you."

"I'm the man who saved your life. You would still be out there if it wasn't for me. So will you just listen!" Zane paused, hands on his hips while he waited for whatever it was Ty had to say. If Ty wanted him to listen, he would, but then he would make up his own mind after that.

He waited but Ty still said nothing. Zane watched emotions war behind his eyes and sighed the moment he saw Ty slam down the wall in his head to keep Zane out. “I don’t want you to repeat my mistakes.”

“What mistakes are those? How can I know to avoid them if you won’t tell me what they are?” It had been weeks since he’d found himself on this shore, and Zane still didn’t know anything about the man in front of him other than he worked on a ship once and now ran the lighthouse at night. After that, Zane didn’t even know his last name. 

At first, he was simply grateful to Ty for saving his life but now, he was frustrated and angry and a little hurt. Shouldn’t he have earned at least some trust from Ty? 

Ty sighed. “I fell off my ship. I was hurt but didn’t realize it at first. Thought I was just fine. The guy who helped me didn’t say anything, just let me keep working around here, though I know now that he knew I was hurt the whole time. By the time I was ready to leave, there was no going back. He made it so I could never sail again. So I took over the lighthouse from him and he's...gone."

"Gone?"

With a shrug, Ty looked away. "He left one day and never came back. I don't know if he's alive or dead but I don't really care either. As far as I'm concerned, he's the man who ruined my life."

Zane frowned. He didn't think he was doing more damage to his leg but Ty's story made him worry. "The man sounds horrible. What was his name?" Not that Zane would ever meet him but it made conversation if nothing else. 

"Dick."

He tried to keep a straight face. He really did. But Zane's lips twitched and before he knew it, they were both laughing hard, the anger from earlier dissipated. "Really? Was that really his name? Or just what you call him now?"

"Really his name," Ty said, not bothering to control his laughter. "Also what I call him now, but with a different intention." He winked at Zane and the two of them chuckled as they made their way back inside. Ty sobered, though, once they got to the kitchen and Zane started to make food. “He was like a father to me. At least, before I learned how he’d betrayed me.”

Zane wondered what this man was like but decided he didn’t care. He’d hurt Ty and that wasn’t something Zane could easily forgive. But he didn’t want to dwell on the negative. Instead, Zane leaned against the counter in the kitchen and smirked. “I hope you aren’t expecting me to see you as a father figure.”

Watching Ty’s eyes darken and his tongue dart out to wet his lips, Zane realized that maybe the other man was more interested than he’d originally thought. “Good,” Ty said, voice rough suddenly. “That would be kind of awkward.” 

They stood there, eyes locked and neither of them moving for long seconds, the silence growing tense between them. Ty was the one to break it first, swearing under his breath. “The lamp! I’ll... I’ll be right back.”

Zane blinked as Ty rushed out of the room and he let out a slow breath, trying to get his racing heart under control. Ty was an irritating guy with more secrets than answers and Zane didn’t really know him at all. But he wanted him so badly, he ached. 

Maybe later. After the lamp was going and they ate and they had some time to sit and just talk before Zane fell asleep and Ty disappeared again just after sunrise.

Focusing on finishing dinner, Zane was surprised when he was done cooking and Ty wasn’t back yet. He thought about waiting but it would get cold, so he took the plates and climbed the many stairs up to the top. It took longer than it would have before his accident but Zane made it without stopping, which he counted as a small victory. 

Ty was still up there, staring off at the sea. His hands gripped the rail and Zane was surprised to see his knuckles white and shoulders tense. Setting the plates down, Zane came to stand next to him. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s a ship,” Ty said, voice distant and tight. “Can you see it?” 

Zane looked in the direction Ty was but couldn’t see anything. “I can’t. But, my eyesight isn’t as good as it used to be.”

“It will get better.” That was a strange comment but Zane shrugged it off. “They’re far enough out, they should be fine. And no storms near. But...I worry whenever one gets this close.”

Considering Zane couldn’t even see the ship, he thought that maybe his idea of close and Ty’s idea of close weren’t the same. “I am sure they will be fine. But if you want to keep an eye on them, I brought dinner up. I didn’t know when you would be back down.”

Ty finally looked over at him, blinking rapidly as his eyes adjusted to the light inside the room. “Oh. Thank you. I forgot all about it.” 

There were dark circles under Ty’s eyes and Zane wondered when he actually slept. He looked about ready to drop on the spot. “Here. We can eat and once you are assured the ship is fine, why don’t you sleep for a few minutes? I might not be able to see as well as you, but there’s a spyglass there. I can use that and make sure no one is in any danger from you getting some rest. I’m here, Ty. You don’t have to do everything on your own.”

Ty opened his mouth to argue but snapped it shut the moment he looked at Zane. Whatever he was about to say was lost, and he simply nodded. "Thank you," Zane said with a decisive nod. He handed over the food and the two of them ate in silence. He didn't know whether Ty tasted anything or not; his eyes were trained on the sea and he never once looked down at the plate he was holding. 

After they were done, Zane took the plate from Ty and set them by the stairs, planning to take them down when he went for bed. No point in climbing those stairs any more than he had to right now. He took a seat and watched Ty, relaxing the moment he saw Ty's shoulders droop and the tension leave his body. "Everything okay?"

Nodding, Ty turned around and looked at him. "They made it past. They'll be fine. I really didn't feel like going out tonight."

"Going out?" Zane asked, not sure what Ty meant. "Going out to sea? Why would you do that? That would be suicide."

Another humorless chuckle left Ty. "Yeah, probably."

Zane had never heard of the lighthouse operator having to go out and rescue ships that were in trouble. They made sure the beacon was lit so the ships stayed safe but that was all. Maybe Ty had to go find someone whose job it was to go out and help ships in distress? There was so much Zane didn't know about what Ty did and he was growing more and more curious. Maybe he would stick around a little while longer, just to satisfy his curiosity.

Seeing that Ty was about to fall asleep where he stood, Zane stood and offered him the chair. "Sit. Rest for a little bit. I'll wake you if I see anything."

Ty frowned but did as Zane asked. "You probably won't see anything, even if there is something there. But do your best. I'll deal with it later if I have to." Ty fell asleep almost instantly, leaving Zane alone with his own thoughts. 

He didn't want to let Ty down, figuring there was a high level of trust Ty giving him by letting Zane take over his duties, even for a short period. He grabbed the spyglass and got to work, scanning the horizon for anything unusual. He didn't see any but he never expected to either. 

Jolting awake after several hours, Ty looked around, eyes wide and frightened for a moment before he realized where he was and what was going on. Then he slumped back in the chair, running a hand over his hair. "How long was I asleep?"

"A few hours, maybe?" Zane asked, glancing back at him before looking out to the water again. "I haven't seen anything, but whether that was because there wasn't anything to see or because I missed something, I don't know."

Ty rubbed at his chest then stood up. "If you missed something, I would know it. You were fine. Thanks, Zane. I guess I need to find more time to sleep, huh?"

"Maybe," Zane said with a laugh. "It's almost sunrise. If you tell me how to turn off the beacon, you can leave early if you want? Maybe then you can come back early." He hoped that would give Ty the opening to tell him where it was Ty went every day but it didn't seem that Ty was inclined to share that information yet. 

"It...doesn't exactly work like that, Zane. But thank you. I might do that." He walked Zane through the steps of extinguishing the beacon. "If fog rolls in or a storm arrives, I'll come back early. Otherwise, I'll see you before sundown."

Ty turned towards the stairs but paused and Zane stared at him, wondering what was going through the man's head. Did he have second thoughts about leaving Zane in charge? He glanced over his shoulder at Zane and muttered a curse under his breath. In three large steps, he closed the distance between them. Ty took Zane's face in his own and kissed him hard. That was something new for Zane. All his encounters with the men on the ship had been fast and sloppy, a quick way to get off before getting back to work. There was no intimacy, no kissing or embraces. But Ty held Zane's face like he was something precious and kissed him like there was nothing else in the world that he wanted to do. 

As quickly as it started, it stopped. Ty took a step back and grinned at Zane, offering him a quick wink. Then he turned on his heel and headed down the stairs. And with that, Ty was gone again. Zane had half a mind to follow him, to see where the man went, and wondered why he hadn't done that before, but he couldn't get his feet to move. He stared at the spot Ty had just been, mind frozen and lips still tingling from the kiss. 

Distantly, Zane realized this was the first time he was still awake when Ty left to go...wherever. Usually, he was asleep when Ty left, which was part of the reason he'd never bothered to follow, but the other part was that Zane wanted to honor Ty's privacy. If he wanted Zane to know, he would tell him. Right?

Now, his need to follow was less about seeing where he went and more about getting another kiss. But he couldn't follow now. Ty trusted him and left the lighthouse was in his care and he needed to keep it and the ships on the water safe. Sunrise was less than an hour away and though he was tired and his mind was racing, Zane turned his attention back to the water. The waves crashed below him, the sun painted the sky in vibrant hues, and his heart was full. Zane wondered if heaven could ever compare to this. 

Over the coming days and weeks, Ty's trust in him continued to grow and he taught Zane more and more about running the lighthouse. Most days he was still back by sundown and left just after sunrise, but he left Zane alone more and more. Zane loved the fact that Ty trusted him with something so important but he hated that it meant the other man was gone now more than ever before. It was lonely being in the lighthouse all day by himself and he wondered if that was why Ty left the first chance he got every day.

There had been some kisses since that first one but nothing more. If Ty was home, then one of them was watching the water. And if they didn't need to be watching the water, then Ty had already left Zane alone for the day. He wanted one day, just one where he got to keep Ty to himself but as the days went on, Zane began to believe that was going to be impossible. But Zane wasn't a man to passively take things that he didn't like. He would fight for this. If he had to. 

"So, what is this?" he asked one night when the two of them were standing by the window, staring out at sea. 

Ty looked at him, raising a brow with an amused smirk on his lips. "That's the ocean, Zane. I thought you knew that."

Zane glared, waiting for Ty to take this seriously. "Not that. Us. What is going on between us."

This time, Ty didn't have a smirk. "What do you mean?"

Zane wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. "I mean you and me. You kiss me sometimes but never take it farther than that. You disappear all day but panic if I tell you I even ventured more than a few feet from the lighthouse. It's like you trust me with the lighthouse but not your heart or my life. I was doing just fine before I met you, Ty. I don't need you to tell me how to live my life. I've kept myself alive this long and I will continue to do just that."

"Obviously not since you're dead!" Ty spat at him then looked immediately horrified. 

Of all the responses Zane expected, that was not one. He stared at Ty who stared back at him and two passed many long moments in a tense silence. "What...what do you mean?" Ty shook his head, trying to turn away. Zane's grabbed Ty's arm before he could leave. "No, you don't. What. Did. You. Mean?"

Visibly deflating before his eyes, Ty slumped. "Please don't ask me to explain this, Zane. Not yet. Just a few more weeks. Give me time to figure out..."

"No. NOW."

Ty turned to stare out at the water. Remember how you thought it was a miracle you survived falling overboard?" Zane nodded, dread pooling in the pit of his stomach. "You, um, didn't. I found you but it was too late."

Nothing Ty said made any sense, which Zane thought was evidence alone that he wasn't dead. "I'm standing here talking to you. I know you aren't a figment of my dying mind or something because even dying, I could never have thought up anyone like you."

Sighing and offering a small shrug, Ty looked away. "I told you. The same thing that happened to you, happened to me."

"So you're dead too?" Ty nodded. "And this is what? Heaven? _This?_ "

"Heaven? No, I don't think so. I'm guessing there is somewhere better than this. But this is what happens to men like us. I was told this was what happened to people who died at sea. At least some. I haven't met too many so I assume others don't have to go through this. Maybe the others were better people than us and got to move on? I don't know and I've had a lot of time to think about it."

Zane didn't know why he believed Ty. This was all too farfetched, too preposterous to be true. And yet, he felt the truth settle into his very bones. And it wasn't something he wanted to consider. But, if this was his life now - or, afterlife as it were - then Zane wanted all the information he could get. "How long have you been here?"

"I'm not sure. Time moves differently here. What year is it?" When Zane told him, Ty let out a low whistle. "So, a hundred and fifty years or so? Doesn't feel that long. Also, feels like an eternity, so that's probably right."

Ty had been here, in this lighthouse for a hundred and fifty years? Doing what? Why would their afterlife be to sit in a lighthouse for eternity? "Because you died at sea you have to run a lighthouse? That seems...strange. And if we are dead, why do we eat? Sleep? Though, you do sleep significantly less than most people I met." And as he thought about it, Zane realized that he too was regularly staying up all night and not feeling tired the next day.

Again Ty shrugged. "Listen, Zane, they didn't exactly give me a tour and explain everything when I got here. I only figured it out when..." He shook his head. "Never mind. All I'm saying is that I don't know what is going on other than what I have figured out on my own and the few things Dick told me when he felt like sharing. As for the sleeping and eating, I guess it's because it is what we expect? We can go without both indefinitely. I'm not sure the last time I ate before you got here. But it is nicer when we do. Makes me feel like I'm still human. At least a little.

"As for the lighthouse, it is part of the deal. From what I've learned from the few others that I have met, they also have lighthouses. But I am not sure if they are real or not. They are real to us but I don't know if the ships can see them."

"Ty, none of this makes any sense. You know that, right? I want to go and prove to you that I'm not dead, just to get it through your thick skull but I'm not sure how to do that." Ty didn't respond, just stared out the window, which only served to make Zane angrier. "Ty, are you even listening to me right now?"

But Ty wasn't. Something outside had caught his attention, something Zane didn't see or at least didn't recognize. Swearing under his breath, Ty ran to the stairs. "Stay here, Zane. Whatever you do, stay here."

After everything Ty told him, Zane wasn't about to let him off that easily. He followed Ty as the man raced down the stairs and to the door of the lighthouse. He followed at a run as Ty made a break for the beach. Just before hitting the water, Ty skidded to a stop, turning over his shoulder to look at Zane.

"I mean it, Zane. Stay here. I'll be back as soon as I can. Please don't try to follow me. I'll explain everything when I get back." Ty frowned, considering for half a second before continuing. "Do NOT go in the water, do you understand me? Remember, I'm already dead. What I'm about to do won't hurt me. Just, go back inside and wait for me. Please." Then he dove into the waves like it was completely normal. 

Zane stood, watching and waiting for him to surface, but he never did. 

Though Zane swore he saw the fluke of a dolphin break the surface, just once. 

And then he was left alone on the beach, staring out to sea with a roaring in his ears that had nothing to do with the ocean.


	3. Chapter 3

It was the "please" that kept Zane firmly rooted in place. He wanted to follow, wanted to save Ty from what seemed like sure-fire drowning. Every fiber of his being cried out for him to go in the water and save the man. But something in Ty's tone, the pleading in his eyes had Zane forcing his feet to stay in place. He hated it, had even more questions now than he thought possible, but he stayed.

For what felt like hours, Zane stayed on the shore, staring out at the water as if Ty would come back any minute. It didn't make sense of course. There was a good chance that Ty had been swept away by the current and Zane would never see him again but Ty seemed so sure, Zane had faith he would return. 

When the sun began to peek over the horizon, Zane wearily walked back to the lighthouse, knowing he would need to extinguish the beacon soon. And then maybe he would sleep. Ty told him it wasn't necessary but Ty had told him a lot of unbelievable things and that was just one of many. Zane would sleep, even if he didn't need to.

But Zane couldn’t sleep. He kept hearing Ty’s words in his head. Kept seeing him dive under the waves and not come back. They were dead. That was what Ty said. And yet they were here, talking and breathing and living just like he always had. 

Maybe better. 

Zane didn’t remember a time when he was happier. He had a warm place to sleep. Good food to eat. The work was easy and the company was better than he had ever had before. Wasn’t he just thinking that this was like heaven for him? So why couldn’t it actually _be_ heaven? Or whatever this was, since Ty was pretty sure this isn’t all there is. 

Finally deciding that sleep wasn’t happening and maybe he would go back out to the shore to see if Ty returned, Zane pushed himself off the bed right as the door to the lighthouse opened. Ty stepped in and Zane looked at him, making sure he was alright. He was in one piece, thankfully, and as alive as they ever were, so Zane was thankful for that. 

Ty dripped seawater everywhere as he stood there, picking kelp from his hair and clothes. Well, what clothes he had left. He was naked from the waist down and his shirt was torn in several spots. Zane raised an eyebrow and Ty glared back at him. “What, like you’ve never lost your pants before?”

“Not by diving into the ocean to avoid an awkward conversation about the fact that apparently, we’re both dead.” Ty’s lips quirked at that and Zane wished he didn’t find that so attractive. It made it difficult to stay annoyed. “Come on. You have to be freezing. Into the bath with you. Once you are clean and warm and dry, you can tell me everything. And I mean everything. Stop hiding things from me and let me decide if it is something I am ready to deal with or not.”

Ty appeared to consider that but then shook his head. “I have a better idea. Do you trust me?”

That was a loaded question if Zane ever heard one. Did he trust Ty? Either the man was lying to him now or he had been lying to him all this time up until now. Didn’t matter which way Zane looked at it, Ty lied to him. But, he also knew, damn it, that he trusted Ty implicitly. He didn’t think Ty would make him do anything Zane didn’t want and he had to admit he was curious. If it meant he got answers sooner, all the better. “Yes,” he admitted after the silence dragged on too long.

Ty nodded. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” He hurried off before Zane could formulate any reply. Zane stood in the entry to the lighthouse, awkwardly looking around while he waited for Ty to come back and tell him what the plan was. Finally, Ty returned and held out his hand to Zane. “Come on.”

He’d run a bath while he was gone. Zane never noticed how big the tub was before and didn’t know how Ty got so much hot water so quickly but it looked inviting and Zane wasn’t going to turn down a chance to watch Ty bathe. Which, he figured, was what was going on here. 

Stripping off his wet shirt, Ty dropped it on the ground next to him and stood in front of Zane, unapologetically nude. Since he was showing off, Zane didn’t feel bad about taking a minute to appreciate his form. He was almost as Ty as Zane but not as wide. He had well-defined muscles and Zane’s hands itched to reach out and touch him. Ty smirked at him. “So, are you going to take off your clothes or do you plan on getting in with them on. Trust me, wet clothes aren’t much fun.” He gestured at the sopping shirt on the floor.

The was a progression in their relationship Zane didn't expect but he wasn't about to turn it down. Not when he'd been dreaming about getting Ty naked for quite some time. Ty stepped into the water and then held out his hand to Zane. 

It took some maneuvering to get them situated but they ended up with Ty reclining back against Zane's chest, and Zane's arms wrapped loosely behind him. He felt Ty melt into the embrace and his breathing got so slow and even, Zane wondered if he'd fallen asleep. But before he could figure out what to do about that, Ty spoke. "So, you have questions." Which wasn't a question but Ty probably knew him well enough that he would know that even if Zane hadn't made a big deal of it before he left. 

"You could say that," Zane said with a soft laugh. "Ty, you have to understand how crazy this all sounds."

Ty nodded. "I said the same thing. It took a long time to come to terms with it. In the end, Dick just threw me in and expected me to swim, never gave me a choice. Only explained after everything I knew about the world shifted uncomfortably. I refused to do that with you. You get a say in what happens to you, Zane. I won't doom you to this if it isn't what you want."

"What do you mean, what I want? If I'm dead and here, isn't that all there is to it? You kept me from knowing everything to what, protect me? Stop me from making any choice at all?" The thing was, Zane understood why Ty had done things the way he did. He understood wanting to protect someone from bad truths. But even so, he was insulted that Ty didn't think he could have handled it right away. 

Shifting to the side so he could look up at Zane, Ty offered him a small smile. "Well, I couldn't very well say 'Welcome to the lighthouse. Sorry about your death.' now could I?"

He had a point. Zane wouldn't have listened to him and probably would have thought he was out of his mind. Zane still thought that but it was becoming more certain of Ty's sanity with every passing minute. "Okay, tell me everything. What is the lighthouse? You said you don't think ships can actually see it. If that's true, then what does it do?"

"As near as I can tell, this is a crossroads between life and death for sailors like us. But, since ships don't exactly use roads, we have a lighthouse instead."

They fell silent as Zane contemplated it. It made a lot of sense when he thought about it. A lighthouse, a beacon to draw people close or to push them away. It would also explain why he never saw ships since they were alive and Zane and Ty apparently weren't. "So, when you look out to see at night, what are you doing?"

"Looking for ships. I can see a very long distance, and if I can see them, it means they are in danger. They don't all suffer a catastrophe but I watch each and every one of them until I'm sure they're safe. I'm certain ships pass all the time and we don't see them because they were never in any danger in the first place.”

“And if a ship is in danger, of something happens to them, then what? Do you see if catastrophe is only going to happen to one person or does the whole ship need to be at risk?” Zane had so many questions, he thought he might be annoying Ty. But this was fascinating and he wanted to know everything, even if it didn’t make much sense. 

Ty smiled at him. “Are you asking if I found you because I knew something was going to happen to you? I knew something was going to happen to that ship. Whether it was one man or the whole crew, it didn’t matter. Well, it didn’t matter then. It matters a lot now.” 

Dipping his head, Zane kissed him, because after sentiment like that, how could he not? Ty slid his fingers into Zane’s hair and they continued like that for a while, the conversation not forgotten, but set aside for a few minutes. 

“So, what do you do if they’re in trouble?” Zane asked when they were sated and content. “Do you save them? How? How can you do anything when you are here and they are there?”

“At first, I tried but I learned soon enough there wasn’t much I could do. Every so often, someone survives so I try to get them somewhere they can find help. Other times, it’s to make sure they aren’t alone. No one deserves to be alone.” Ty fell silent and Zane thought about the fact that Ty had been in this lighthouse for a hundred and fifty years by himself. Had it felt like that to him? Time moved differently here but did he feel all those years pass by without anyone here to talk to or keep him company at night? “And then, every so often, there’s someone like you.”

That brought Zane’s thoughts to a screeching halt. “What do you mean? How am I different?” 

“I told you. You were like me. So, I gave you a chance. If you don’t want this, you can just wait and I am sure you will pass on. The rest of them did. But, if you decide to stay, I think you would be good.”

With a sigh, Zane shrugged. “I’m still not exactly sure what you do. I don’t mind running the lighthouse but I think you mean more than that, don’t you?”

Ty nodded. “Yeah, there’s another part. That was the part that I wasn’t warned about until it was too late. I’ll show you if you want? Then you can make up your mind?”

He stood at a crossroads right now. Zane knew that. He knew that this decision would define the rest of his eternity. And he knew that there was no right or wrong here. It was something he needed to give careful thought to and not rush headlong in like he did with running away from home or joining a crew without any experience. 

Zane didn’t want to move, though. He had Ty in his arms, something he’d been wanting for weeks. They were both content and relaxed and sleepy. It didn’t look like Ty was running off any time soon and Zane just wanted to get him into bed. What they did when they got there, he didn’t really care. They had all the time in the world so he wasn’t in a hurry. Sleep seemed the highest priority. 

Particularly sleep with Ty curled up next to him. 

“Does it have to be right now? Can it wait until later?”

Ty was nodded, tilting his head to look at Zane again. “It can wait until it is time for you to pass over. I don’t know when that will be but I think we have some time still. The others made it a few months before they disappeared.” If Ty didn’t think he would be going anywhere in the next few days, then Zane intended to take Ty to bed now and wait until later to deal with whatever it was Ty had to show him. 

Maybe at daybreak, when Ty would usually disappear. Zane could enjoy a few more minutes with him before he left. 

The water cooled rapidly and to Zane’s dismay, Ty pulled away from him, standing and reaching for the towels he left out for them both. He offered a hand to Zane and pulled him up, then handed one towel to him while drying himself as well. Ty didn’t seem concerned with draining the tub and Zane didn’t mention it for fear of them having to do something other than climb into bed together. 

Ty hesitated once they were both dry and led him to the bedroom. Maybe this was one place where Zane had all the knowledge. 

It was not and they both slept well after they were done, curled tight around one another like the sunset would pull them apart for good. 

Ty woke first, trying to slip out of the bed without Zane noticing. But Zane felt the rapidly cooling bed next to him and blinked his eyes open. “Go back to sleep, darlin’,” Ty drawled, bending to kiss him. “I need to go light the beacon. When you wake up, you know where to find me.”

Though he didn’t want to go back to sleep, Zane’s eyes closed almost immediately. One hand stayed stretched out to the side of the bed where Ty had slept, however, reaching for him, even though he knew the man wasn’t there. Eventually, Zane woke as well. The sky outside the window was fully dark and the world was quiet. 

Zane pulled himself from the bed and went to make them something to eat. He didn’t remember the last time either of them had food and it comforted him to cook. Gave him a chance to think about everything without Ty watching him for any sign that Zane might be ready to leave or to stay or to give up on all of this entirely. 

Once the food was done, Zane carried upstairs, finding Ty staring out to sea. Unlike usual, however, it didn’t seem like Ty actually saw anything. His eyes were almost glazed and he was so lost in thought, he jumped when Zane stopped next to him. “Everything alright?” Zane asked, putting down the tray with food and looking at Ty in concern. 

Ty tried to put a bright smile on, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah.”

“But...”

“But, I’m not looking forward to you leaving. I like having you here. But I don’t want you to stay just because of that. This isn’t a life for everyone, Zane. Please do not feel like you need to stay just because I want you here. This is your choice and yours alone. Don’t even take me into consideration, please.”

Zane didn’t know how he could make this decision without considering that Ty would be alone if Zane chose to leave. But the way Ty was pleading with him with both words and eyes, he couldn’t say no. “I promise. I’ll be selfish with this decision. Do we have to think about it tonight?”

Ty shook his head and Zane pulled him into his arms, kissing him soundly, trying to drive the sadness from his eyes. When they broke apart and Ty was smiling, Zane knew he’d accomplished it, at least for now. They spoke of nothing of consequence as they stood side by side through the night. When they were done eating, Ty took Zane's hand in his own, and warmth spread through Zane's chest at the contact. All the while, he was fighting off panic, not wanting Ty to know how terrified he actually was. 

Come sunrise, Ty was going to show him something and then Zane would need to make a decision. There was no guarantee of heaven for a man like him but if he stayed, there was no chance he'd see heaven at all. Did Zane want to work for the rest of eternity, even if it meant keeping Ty by his side? Zane didn't know and wished he wasn't being presented with this decision in the first place. It was too much for one man.

Maybe the person who brought Ty into this work had the right idea. 

But no, Zane would rather have a choice than have his hand forced by something outside of his control.

By the time the sun was coming up over the horizon, Zane regretted eating as it sat like a lead brick in his stomach. When Ty extinguished the beacon, Zane’s grip on the railing tightened until his knuckles were white and he began to suspect that he would break it if he held any harder. 

A gentle hand touched his and Ty carefully pulled Zane’s fingers away from the bar. “Come on. You don’t have to make any decisions today. But I want you to know. I think you were right. I shouldn’t have keep everything from you for so long.” 

Part of Zane wanted to argue, to tell Ty it was okay if he wanted to keep it a secret a little longer, but he held his tongue. This was what he had asked for, after all, and he did want to know. The curiosity was eating at him, even as Zane worried about what he was going to find out.

Following Ty outside, Zane focused on the solid ground beneath him, the sea breeze that gently moved around them both, and the waves - always the waves - crashing on the shore. With Ty’s hand in his, Zane thought this was a place he could be happy forever. But...

“You have to promise,” Ty said for about the hundredth time that night and Zane rolled his eyes instead of snapping at him. They’d had this conversation. Zane promised. There was no need for anything else, as far as he was concerned. 

Ty gave a nod and led Zane to the edge of the beach. “Stay here,” he said, “and do not touch the water.”

“Why?” Zane asked. It was one of the questions that had been bothering him since Ty dove into the waves only a day and a half ago. “What happens?”

“It means you’ve made your choice. Until you make the choice, you stay there, understand?”

Zane didn’t understand, no, but he nodded all the same. It was just water. Regardless of where they were, it was the sea and while it fascinated Zane and called to Zane, he didn’t ascribe any great power to it beyond the natural. 

After a minute, Ty nodded and walked past him down to the shore. He stripped out of his clothes, and Zane began to wonder if this wasn’t some cruel trick. “You’re going to stand there naked and tempting and I am just supposed to watch? That isn’t fair, Ty!”

Before he spoke, the air between them had a stillness Zane only associated with funerals or the calm before a storm, the sense of waiting or grieving or some combination of the two. But his complaint broke the tension and they both laughed, feeling lighter than Zane had all night. 

“Wait. Watch. And then I’ll explain,” Ty said. Pointing down the shore, he gestured to a dock not too far in the distance. “Meet me down there. We can talk and I won’t have to get out of the water yet. It’s exhausting to get in and out more than once a day.”

With one last glance at Zane, Ty dove into the water as gracefully as he had the other day. Zane wondered if once again, Ty would just disappear from view until he met Zane over at the dock, but he stood on the shore and watched for a few moments, in case Ty came up. 

He did, wet hair and shoulders practically glowing in the morning sun. He waved at Zane and then dove back under. Once more, Zane thought he saw the tip of a dolphin tail and things started to piece together in his mind. He took off running down the beach, anxious to get to the dock and get some answers from his strange enigma of a lover. 

When he got there, Ty was already waiting for him, arms crossed on the dock as he held himself partially out of the water. Most of him was still in the sea and Zane wondered how he hadn’t put two and two together. “You’re a mermaid,” he whispered, awe-struck. 

“Well, merman, to be specific. I expect better of you, Zane. Mermaid, indeed.” 

The way Ty scoffed at him helped bring Zane back into the present, his mind spinning from all the hints that he might have missed over the last few months. “You’re him!”

Ty blinked at him. “I’m _me_ if that is what you are saying.”

“No. When I was on the ship, I saw you several times. When I washed up on shore, I even thought you were the man out in the water but dismissed it.” Actually, Zane had thought Ty was too handsome to be the person he saw but now was not the time for stroking Ty’s ego. “But that was you, wasn’t it? Were we in danger that whole time?”

This time, Ty nodded. “You kept coming in and out of my field of view. After a while, I went out to see what was going on. I saw you up there and hoped you weren’t the reason I was seeing your ship. But then you went overboard and...”

“And you were there to save me.”

“Not really. If I had saved you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.” 

That was semantics as far as Zane was concerned. Ty had saved him, if not in body then definitely in spirit, and nothing Ty said would change Zane’s opinion on that. 

He sat near the end of the dock, feeling strange standing over Ty who was currently at Zane’s ankle level. He tried to see what Ty’s tail looked like but the water wasn’t clear enough for that. Zane thought he saw some green and gold but hoped he would get a better look later on. “So, explain this to me?” Because that was why they were there, was it not? Ty needed to show Zane something and explain what Zane’s choice was. 

Ty sighed, resting his chin on this forearms crossed in front of him. “The basic concept is, if you accept the job, then you watch for ships in trouble and go out to try and help whenever you can. The whole merman thing means that I can swim great distances, very quickly. I’m not sure where the line between this world and the real world is, but I think it is different for every ship. Either way, I go out and try to stop the catastrophe. If I can’t do that, then I go out and try to help the victims. If I can’t do _that,_ then I try to ease their suffering as best I can. Only the very rare one comes back here with me. You are only the sixth.”

“And the other five left?”

“Four moved on. A good Catholic boy wanted to see his sisters again and living here forever meant not seeing them. Three others just didn’t see the way they could be happy doing this forever. The fifth chose to stay. We worked together for a while but he was offered his own lighthouse and went there. I still see him sometimes, though it is rare. He seems happy with his choice though.” 

Zane wondered how lonely Ty must have been and if he'd hoped each time that one would stay. And none of them had. It broke his heart. "So, even if I stay, there's no guarantee that I would be here with you the whole time?"

"No, that was just him. I don't know if the others would have been given options either. He was unique, so I think that might have had something to do with it. From what I understand, you are free to stay as long as you want or move on to another lighthouse. I could do the same, as long as there was someone to take over this one." What a lonely existence. Did Zane really want to take that chance? While he wasn't guaranteed a reward on the other side, at least he knew he wouldn't be alone. If Ty could leave once he had someone else to watch this lighthouse, what was to stop him from doing just that? He could leave Zane behind and go somewhere far away and there wouldn't be anything Zane could do about it. 

But, deep down, Zane trusted Ty and didn't think he would do such a thing. Maybe one day they would leave together but he didn't think Ty would just abandon him and Zane had no intention of abandoning Ty. 

And that was the crux of it, wasn't it? Zane didn't want to leave Ty. Whatever waited on the other side for him wasn't going to be as good as what he has here. He would be a fool to give it up. Zane didn't know why he contemplated anything else. This was where he wanted to be and this was where he belonged. 

"If I decide to stay, what do I need to do?"

Ty looked up at him, eyes wide as if he was shocked that Zane would even ask. Zane wondered if Ty had already resigned himself to the idea of him leaving. "You, um, you just get in the water. That's why I've been trying to keep you away. If you stepped in, you would have chosen without even realizing it." Which was sweet and Zane appreciated it but he didn't need Ty to protect him anymore. He pushed himself to his feet and Ty swam backward to look up at him. "What are you doing?" he asked as Zane began to unbutton his shirt. 

"I made my decision," Zane explained, shucking off his clothes as quickly as he could.

"You should think about this more, Zane. This is forever we are talking about."

Zane smiled and moved to the end of the dock. "I know. And I want to spend it with you." Taking a deep breath, Zane dove into the water, taking a literal leap of faith into a life of love forevermore.


End file.
